miss you like home
by potidaea
Summary: A fix-it for episode 5x14 after Kara's interaction with Amy at the Obsidian launch.


Kara couldn't begin to explain the ache in her chest as Alex read out Todd's final note. What she wouldn't give for another moment on Krypton. Still, she couldn't let her own feelings win out, not when there were lives at risk. No matter how brutal it was, no matter how close it cut to her core, she needed to stop Amy.

And she understood the couple in more ways than she'd ever be willing to admit - the grief, the anger, the longing, the loneliness. So, when Amy finally relented with watery eyes and quivering lips as she stood there, more vulnerable than any Kryptonian ought to be, it hit her like an eighteen-wheeler.

"I miss him every day."

She nodded, brave and strong like a hero, but her insides were screaming, _I miss her, too._

It wasn't until Amy was in a holding cell and Alex was sitting comfortably on the floor of her apartment that she gathered the courage to say it out loud. William had just texted her and Alex looked about ready to burst with excitement. She finally settled on, "He seems..._interested_," with a barely contained smirk.

Kara sighed, "Yeah, I guess."

The brunette's brow furrowed, "What's up?"

Suddenly her phone case seemed very interesting, like maybe if she just kept playing with the charger port cover there would simply be no more words coming out of her mouth. "It's just...when I was talking to Amy, I couldn't help but think of Lena. Of how much I hurt her and...how much I miss her. Like, is there really that much of a difference between Todd's death driving her to do _all that_ and Lena taking," _Not stealing. She'll give it back._ "Myriad?"

Kara continued before Alex had a chance to agree more than she should. She knew her sister well enough to know what was coming. "Not like _that_. I just mean the pain. I hurt her so much. You should've seen her, Alex. It was…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "I _deserved_ it."

"Kara, no."

"I did."

Alex sighed, "You know my feelings on this. She crossed the line."

"But," Kara huffed, "what if it was Kelly?"

That perked Alex up. "What do you mean, what if it was Kelly? You're friends. You _do_ know I'm gay, right?" She attempted a joke, but when the sunny blonde didn't respond in her usual lighthearted laugh, she grew worried. The newly unemployed agent searched her sister's face for a sign of something and she found more guilt and distress than she expected when they first sat down for pizza and wine. "She's your _friend_, right?"

"I don't know! Mxy showed me all of those universes and I don't know anymore." Her voice was rising in pitch as she continued, "We were married, Alex, _married_." She grabbed frantically for a slice of pizza, something she knew she could count on.

"Shit," was Alex's helpful reply.

"Yeah."

"More wine?"

"Yeah."

Later that night, after Alex left with a thinly veiled excuse about an SOS text from J'onn that came suspiciously shortly after a text from Kelly, Kara paced around her apartment incessantly. It wasn't until she was worried she may actually break through the floorboards that she decided maybe one quick fly-by couldn't hurt.

The Kryptonian let her suit fade away as her boots touched down on the hard concrete of the penthouse balcony. Lena was seated peacefully on her settee in baggy sweats and an old t-shirt, reading between sips of tea. She tapped on the glass and hoped the CEO wouldn't be too upset by her presence.

Lena turned her head at the noise, rising from her seat to open the sliding door. "Supergirl. What are you doing here? I didn't think you'd be coming back after our last...chat." Her voice was colder than Kara cared to remember.

"Uh, hi, yeah. I wanted to apologize for that. I don't think I explained myself fully."

Lena arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, _well, I'm waiting._

"Right. So, there was this guy. Mxy. It's too complicated to explain right now but there's timelines of this, of us, that are _married_, I mean, wow. And it's like, when we're not friends it's just not good, you know? Anyway, today, I'm sure you saw the whole Obsidian thing." Lena nods and it's the first time she's really reacted to Kara's words since she started speaking.

"This man, this alien, he was addicted to the original VR system. He just missed his home planet _so much_ he couldn't stop. Um, he died and his wife attacked the rollout. She missed him as much as he missed home. I know I'm not really making sense, but the thing is, I miss Krypton so much. I'd do anything to have it back. But if there's anything, anyone I could ever miss, could ever love as much as Krypton...it's you."

The brunette's armor seemed to crack as she continued on, crossed arms now relaxed at her sides, and Kara can't believe the way the words are just pouring out.

"I don't know what that means. But I know that I'm sorry, so unbelievably sorry...and I'm here, if you need me."

Lena paused for a moment and Kara, unsure if it's the powerplay of a schooled businesswoman ready for combat or the simple overwhelming nature of her confession that drives it, nearly collapsed in bright white relief when she finally spoke.

"Do you want to come in? I made tea."


End file.
